Went and saw Star Trek Into Darkness. First the disclaimer – I really enjoyed this film. I think they’re doing great things with the franchise and long may it continue. That having been said . . .
**NOT JOKING, I’M PRETTY MUCH ABOUT TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE MOVIE**
** STILL READING? OKAY, BUT DON’T CRY LATER THAT I RUINED THE FILM FOR YOU**
Ten simple plot related questions . . .
1. We need to stop the volcano exploding without the natives noticing our advanced technology. Hey, I’ve got a great idea, instead of leaving them in their temple let’s have them chase Kirk out into the opening. That way when the lava explodes onto the temple, they’ll all be safely outside . . . or, how about we don’t have them chase Kirk, leave them in the stupid temple, and use the time you saved not messing about, to quell the volcano before it explodes. Plus – the natives are inside the temple, i.e. less chance of them seeing your advanced technology, right?
2. How would Spock know the natives saw the Enterprise rise out of the water, like he filed in his report? He was in the process of getting baked in the volcano when it happened.
3. Hey, distraught father, how about you give the blood infusion to your child, go to work, send the admiral a full confession and then don’t blow everyone up. Just a thought.
4. That was Khan’s plan, ‘I’ll kill as much of the high command as possible and then I’ll transport myself to Kronos’? Then what? Live out the rest of your years on Kronos as a hermit, dodging Klingons?
5. Yes, I appreciated the social commentary on the ethicality of using drones, but let me get this straight – yes Kirk, go kill Khan with these long range missiles from the edge of the neutral zone. Just to make sure Khan doesn’t get away here are all 72 newly developed missiles. Just how bad of a shot does the admiral think Kirk is? Or okay, he was getting rid of the missiles for some reason that doesn’t include putting them on his secret starship, Kirk isn’t hurt by the insinuation that the admiral thinks he’s a bloody awful shot?
6. Okay, new plan, let’s capture Khan, so to make sure it all goes off without a hitch, contact Khan over long range comms about three minutes before we get there and tell him to get ready to surrender, so we lose the element of surprise . . . really?
7. So . . . there are sleeping people in the missiles but the missiles still have warheads on them . . . and you put the sleeping people in the missiles when exactly?
8. I get that the admiral has non-federation contractors or whatever at his disposal to fly his top secret ship, but he was able to build the ship behind one of Jupiter’s moons and no one noticed?
9. Important tip, if you’re going to build a rogue starship, you might want to post security to keep just anyone from flying up and joining the construction crews.
10. One shot from the phaser on stun while on the rogue starship and Khan goes down, he gets back up but at least he went down, but six or seven point blank shots from Uhuru’s phaser back on Earth later, and Khan just shakes it off? What, is he a borg?
11. This is more of a general question, not a potential plot hole – didn’t they at one point swear up and down they would not use Khan as this film’s villain? I honestly had heard that it was not going to be Khan so often, that I was mildly surprised when it was.