Economic times being what they are, Ezra has his sister wives call the family together to discuss which of their collective children would have to be sold to finance the purchase of a new gaming console . . .
“Now the rules to the game Stampede are simple, we all run down the hill shouting and hollering. The first person to reach the birch tree at the top of the other side of the ravine – wins one point. If you get trampled or gored by bison, scalped by Sioux, bit by rattlesnakes or catch dysentery before you reach the other side, you’ll have to sit out a turn. The first person to get to ten points, wins . . .”
Pastor: “And the Lord spake verily and said yea shalt thou build thine houses upon the declivity, yea, more inclined the better. And the people did hear and obey and did build upon the steep inclines, and the slopes, and the gradients, and the banks, and the dips, and the descents, and the downgrades. And the people did rejoice, and did occasionally fall over. Thus sayeth the book of Pitch. Amen”
Pastor: “Now please pick up your hymn books and join me on page 173, song 189 – ‘Ascend the Hill’ . . .”
“Brother Caleb, Brother Caleb, please tell us the story again about the giant glowing dinner plate in the sky, what sucked you up and probed your unmentionables! Please, please, pleeeeaaassseeee!”
“I must have told you children that story a thousand times already! But alright, if you insist – it was a dark, moonless night, perfect for working at the still, there I was, minding my own business when suddenly . . .”
ok…I don’t know which of you it was, but we’re not going back inside until someone tells me who ‘dealt it’
Publicity still from the ill fated spin off series, Little House on the Big Hill, Mount St. Helens, April 28, 1980. The production was just two weeks into filming the pilot episode when the famous eruption occurred, obliterating the entire railway station, town and house sets, and destroying close to half a million dollars worth of camera and sound equipment.
My last birthday party; Schnitzeljagd.
(‘Schnitzeljagd’ translates as ‘Schnitzel hunt’ and is a popular game played at most children’s birthday parties. It consists of one group of kids hunting down the other outdoors by following chalk arrows. Why is it called Schnitzel hunt, you ask? Well, let’s just say you don’t wanna know what happens to the hunted once they are caught.)
tell me again about this beach holiday idea..
What! no goats and steep hills, what sort of holiday is that!
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